Why Midwifery?

Just like everybody else I went through childhood having a different idea of the future job I wanted each week. From a princess to a vet to a guide dog trainer- I went through a lot of “dream jobs”. This was until I was about 13/14 when I was in Year 9 of High School. I had to start looking at which subjects I wanted to study at GCSE level. The options I chose were based around my dream job of being a Midwife (as well as my back up of physiotherapy at the time). I was able to choose four options on top of the usual English, Maths, Science etc. I chose History, Spanish, PE and Health and Social. I have always been fascinated with how the body works, especially the changes that occur during pregnancy and how everything then returns to normal afterwards! PE involved learning about anatomy of the body, such as muscles and bones, it was not in great detail however it definitely added to my interest.

Ever since I thought of being a Midwife it has been my dream job. Many people have given me several reasons that I would be “better off” in another job such as: the pay, the length of the shifts, and my personal favourite “you know you have to actually touch the ladies… ‘down there’ don’t you??”

However they don’t seem to understand that I know how much I will be paid but it was never the money that drew me towards Midwifery- it’s the actual job. As for the shifts, yes they will be hard to begin with but I’m sure I’ll love it! And my favourite, I don’t know how I would be expected to do my job without touching the women and if that made me cringe then I don’t think I would be going into the job!

I always loved the thought of helping women through what is a very vulnerable time for them. The emotional and physical strength that  women show during childbirth is incredible and never ceases to amaze me.

My Journey So Far – Part Eight: Missing In Action

Hello hello! I’m back from my (very long) break from blogging, there was no particular reason for my absence other than I had so much to do with uni work and placements etc. But here I am, I hope you’re all well!

Currently sat watching The Great British Bake Off and remembered about my little neglected blog and thought now would be a good time to give you a bit of a run down on what has been going on!

Last time I posted I had begun my placement on the antenatal/postnatal ward, it was a 10 week placement and I absolutely loved it! I learnt so much whilst I was there, my mentor was so supportive and full of knowledge, by the end of the placement I felt more confident with communicating with the women and my knowledge began slotting into place alongside what I had been taught in university.

Since then I have completed my community placement, submitted 3 essays, 2 portfolios and sat 2 exams before the end of the year. First year was a stressful one, not only did I have a lot on at uni but I also had a few issues personally – the biggest one being mental health issues. I will discuss this in my next post as I believe it is incredibly important to talk about mental health and to break the stigma that is connected to it.

So, I reached the end of my first year of training having passed everything meaning I am now a fully fledged second year student midwife!

Coming back to uni for my second year has been tiring, we were all so used to having time to ourselves that when we came back it was a bit of a shock to the system. We have managed to work through it but those first few weeks were draining! We have gone over a lot of the basic anatomy and physiology and expanded on it a little from last year in the first few weeks to prepare us for labour ward. This year placement begins a lot earlier for us, instead of January it is this week! My first labour ward shift is 12th October, I am extremely excited and a little nervous about what I will and won’t be expected to do.

Since returning to uni I have planned something incredible – a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I have booked my elective placement over in Sri Lanka, I have booked through a company called Work The World who have been amazing already! They have answered so many of my queries and questions and have signposted me to lots of place to research about the area and where to get the best flight deals. I would already highly recommend them, I will keep you all updated on my progress. My trip is from 3rd to 24th August 2019 and I cannot wait!

 

Thank you for reading! I will be back with another post soon!

My Journey So Far- Part Seven: Placement

If you need to catch up on the previous part it’s Part Six, happy reading!

 

Christmas was a long awaited few weeks off, the last two weeks of uni had dragged on and we were all ready for the relaxation time. I had a lovely time over the festive period with my family and friends; I ate too much, laughed lots and felt well and truly relaxed! It was great to have some time at home with my mum and step dad, as well as be able to spend time with my boyfriend and best friend who I miss loads. My boyfriend even managed to sneak a two night trip to Disneyland Paris in before we went back to uni, the trip was magical and we loved every minute of it!

When the holiday was over we had a block week in uni to finalise the things we were unsure of and to start our new portfolio because the following week was when our placement began. Finally we were going to be out in practice! My first 10 week block of placement is in the hospital, I will go onto community later in the year. Monday came around and I was up at 5:30am getting ready for my shift at 7:30, the drive to the hospital takes roughly 30-45 minutes traffic-depending but it’s a nice drive so I don’t mind too much.

My first two weeks on placement were on Antenatal Clinic where women who have any health issues or complications attend appointments with their consultant. My two weeks there were informative and gave me an insight into a side of midwifery that I had very little knowledge on. There were several issues that came up that I then went away and read up about so that I understood what had been discussed. I enjoyed following the consultants and hearing the options being discussed with women, it made me aware of the reasons behind certain procedures and interventions, for example I never knew that in my trust a woman with gestational diabetes is induced/brought in for her caesearen section at 38 weeks instead of 40.

Following these two weeks I went onto the antenatal and postnatal ward where I will spend the next eight weeks. My first week consisted mostly of finding my way around, meeting all the staff and taking observations. My mentor is amazing, I absolutely love working with her! During my first and second week I had been shown how to remove a catheter and a cannula as well as taken my first bloods, I felt very accomplished. I had three weeks in total on ward before we had a reading week (I am writing this on the Sunday of that week) and I have loved it all, I am enjoying spending time with the women and their families as well as caring for them.

One of the most amazing things that has happened over my three weeks on ward is attending my first caesarean section. It was amazing to witness my first birth and watch the procedure, I also got the opportunity to observe the care of baby after the birth. The woman was then taken onto the ward therefore I was able to continue caring for her.

Tomorrow is my first night shift ever and also the first of three consecutive nights! I have gathered as much advice as I can about how others deal with night shifts but in the end I think I will find my own way to cope with it and I am hoping to really enjoy them. Any advice? Pop it in the comments, I’d love to hear from you!

My Journey So Far- Part Six: Whistle-Stop Tour Of Uni So Far

Hello! I haven’t forgotten about my blog however I have found it hard to find time to write about each week as it came, also some weeks I haven’t had a lot to write. However I am back with a whistle-stop tour of what has happened from Results Day all the way up to just before I finished uni for Christmas! If you haven’t read the past parts go read those so you get the whole journey, the most recent one is Part Five- Results Day.

Following Results Day I had a month before I moved to uni! At first it felt like so little time to get everything together and sorted, but when it came to actually waiting to move it seemed to take ages to pass. During this time I got together everything I wanted to take with me and took a trip to IKEA for my kitchen stuff and other bits and bobs like a desk lamp etc. Once I had all this together I was set to go! The day arrived and we packed my car and my mum’s car to the max and set off.

Once everything was unpacked it felt very surreal stood in what was now my uni room for the year, it had all of my things in but was still very blank and boring. I have since rectified this issue! I was fed up of my room not feeling like it was mine, therefore I bought some fairy lights for my ceiling, got some photos printed for one of my pin boards and my boyfriend bought me a huge elephant print which fits perfectly above my bed. These additions along with what I already had really made a difference to making my room my own!

I share a townhouse on campus with 11 other people. We share a kitchen and I share my bathroom with one other person. As you can imagine, sharing one kitchen between 12 people is not the easiest. We each have one freezer drawer and one fridge shelf, we also have 2 small cupboards and a tiny cutlery drawer each. It’s not the most ideal amount of storage space, however it could be worse.

Keeping the house clean is rather difficult, especially when not everyone is as clean and tidy as your are. I am in no way a clean freak and my mum and friends will agree, however some people are unbelievable! Not just in our house but stories we have heard from others just aren’t worth thinking about. However, I love my house! I’ve met some lovely people and the majority of us are like a big (dysfunctional at times) family and we love it.

The first week was basically us getting to know each other in the cohort, the lectures and the university. The lecturers told us their expectations and gave us a chance to ask questions and then to lay out ground rules in groups. The first bits of work made no sense at the time, however I will come back to this in a future post! We began by learning about ourselves through personality tests and pieces of work such as creating a Johari Window, these eventually made sense later on in the course.

The following weeks became more and more jam-packed with information and learning, it was slightly daunting at first as I was worried that we would be in huge lecture theatres where I would lose track of what was going on and end up missing half of the information. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that all of our seminars were held in a large classroom! There were tables and chairs meaning we were able to sit in groups instead of in straight rows which made it easier to ask people questions if you were confused or needed clarification.

Our Friday mornings consisted of Problem Based Learning (PBL), the most bizarre and mind-boggling way of learning I have ever come across. Although also the cleverest and most useful way too, it brings a group of people together to look at an enigma each week. The group then discusses what they know about the enigma already, for example if we were given a photo of a breastfeeding baby then we would be able to identify that it was breastfeeding. We would then span off of that idea and talk about what we know about breastfeeding and so on in a sort of brainstorming style. Once we have done a lot of this we work out where the gaps are in our knowledge and what we would like to learn more about then write questions based on this, for example if we wanted to learn more about breastfeeding positions then that would go as one of our questions. The group then leaves the session with 3-4 questions to research and answer for the following week’s session. The aim is to write the answers in an academic style and to reference all of the information sources that you use. The group then feeds back at the start of the next session, we all have discussions over what we found and we decide which source is more reliable if there is any conflicting information. Primarily PBL was hugely daunting for me, I love group work but I am the youngest in my group and I felt like I had no experience compared to those around me. Further down the line I realised the experiences I have are just as valuable, I may not have my own children but I have almost 20 years of life experience and a lot of knowledge to work with. Once I got the hang of researching and knowing which sources were reliable I was able to back up my own knowledge with evidence, making my answers more valid.

We have anatomy and physiology lectures each week, they are all on a different topic each time. The presentation provides us with the baseline knowledge that we need to pass, if we want a better grade then we have to research the rest for ourselves. I enjoy these lectures as it has always been the most interesting part for me, it was one of the things that drew me towards Midwifery. However, it is difficult to find time to sit and research everything you want to look at as we have such a big workload. Some of the content is easier to get your head around than other parts but eventually it all clicks and makes sense.

 

Apologies for how late and jumbled this post is, I am hoping to get another post up very soon! Hope everyone is okay, good luck to those of you who are attending interviews and awaiting decisions from universities!

My Journey So Far- Part Five: Results Day

(Continued from Part Four)

*Apologies for this being such a late post, I have been so busy recently.*

Wednesday 16th August- The Night Before Results Day

After speaking to current students and friends who were already at university, I decided that I would turn my phone off before I went to sleep. I did not want to know whether I had got into University before I opened my results at school. I knew the grades that I needed to get in so that single piece of paper would tell me if I was in or not. The reason I tuned my phone off was a lot of universities send out emails or text messages telling you if you got in or not. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid!

I got into bed and realised that I was excited for tomorrow, nerves were there too but in a sense I think the excitement was overriding them. I laid awake for a while thinking over every scenario that may occur, some good but others terribly bad. Eventually I fell asleep only to wake up every other hour to check the time!

Thursday 17th August- Results Day

It was finally here, the day I had been waiting for over the last couple of months. My mum took me and my boyfriend to school to collect our results. On the way there Jack read out a message from my best friend Olivia saying that she had got into her first choice, the day was starting well! She was waiting for us to arrive so that she could find out our results with us.

We pulled up in the car park, I had already asked my mum to come in with me. She has been my rock throughout the whole application process (and life in general!) so I wanted her to be the first person to know if I was in or not. The three of us walked across to the school hall where we were met by a very excited and emotional Olive. I ended up having a happy cry with her and then went to collect my envelope.

I walked back outside to where my mum and Olive were waiting and opened my envelope with shaky hands. I needed 128 UCAS points to get into my first choice university…

I opened the folded sheet, I was in! I got above 128 so I was in!

I broke down in tears and told my mum I was in, all three of us were happy crying. I ran inside to find Jack who also got into his first choice university! I spoke to some of my teachers and called my dad and grandparents to tell them the news. Eventually we made it back to the car and went to Jacks so that he could see his family and tell them the good news.

On the way home from there I decided to read the emails I had been sent. One was from the university and the other from UCAS. I had skim-read the titles earlier but not taken any notice as I was too busy celebrating.

“Mum… I didn’t get into Midwifery”

The words I never wanted to say left my mouth, I had been put onto another course. My heart was in my throat, I couldn’t do anything but cry. We were five minutes from home but it felt like hours! As soon a I got home I ripped my shoes off and sat down to calculate my UCAS points again, they added up to 136 UCAS points meaning I should have got onto the course!

Soon after I was on the phone to UCAS, the guy I spoke to was very helpful and explained what had gone wrong. One of my qualification grades had not been inputted and the other was inputted as the wrong qualification, all I had to do was ask my school to alter them and it would be fine. I called the university to tell them this was the issue and they confirmed that my place would still be available for me if my grades were amended.

30 minutes later we were back at school. After a lot of communication to and from both the university and UCAS the situation was finally resolved and I could finally say that I was a Student Midwife at the University of Bradford!

That night I had a party at my house with a group of friends, we had decided to make it fancy dress. Most people went for war themed (i.e. the guys came dressed like Top Gun characters), so I decided what better to go as than a war-time midwife?

 

My application process story is one of perseverance and commitment, I hit hurdles along the way but I picked myself up and found ways to carry on. You may not have the easiest journey, but remember “difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations”-unknown.

My Journey So Far- Part Four: Interviews

(Continued from Part Three)

After sending my UCAS Application off I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders with relief, however I was also very aware that it was now out of my control what happened next. Then I played the Waiting Game…

I sent my application off on 31st October 2016. My first interview was on 25th November, I had to travel there the night before as it was an early start and the journey there took around 2.5 hours. I had a maths test before my interview, those who failed the test did not proceed to the next stage. Luckily I passed and was taken to my individual interview.

There were two people interviewing me, a midwife and a lecturer. When I walked into the room I did not feel greatly welcome which made me feel more under pressure. Some of the questions I was asked were ones I had prepared for, however some really threw me as I was unsure what they were asking. Throughout the whole interview the interviewers’ faces were very straight and almost uninterested, this made me feel like what I was saying was wrong. I left the interview feeling deflated and had a very different opinion on the university after the experience. Unfortunately I received a rejection from them about a week later which I was disappointed about, although in hindsight I don’t think that particular university would have suited me.

My second interview was on 19th December, this was a slightly different format to the first one. There was a group activity as well as an individual interview, we were also able to talk to current students which was really helpful and also made me feel a bit more relaxed. The group task tested a small amount of Midwifery knowledge but mainly your communication skills as well as team work. The individual interview was more relaxed, I felt able to ask if I didn’t understand something or wasn’t sure if what I was saying was right. I really enjoyed this interview and felt a lot more confident than after my first interview. The next day I woke up to an email from UCAS, when I logged into Track I had been offered a place!

My third interview was on 1st February and was a completely new format that until I received the interview invitation I had never even heard of! It was an Multiple Mini Interview (MMI) format, I had never practised one of these and had no clue how it would work. I tried to research it but couldn’t seem to find anything particularly useful that would help me. Therefore I prepared for questions that I thought may come up and hoped for the best. We went on a campus tour, did a group activity and also the MMI. We were given 5 minutes at each stage of the MMI to give our answer to the question at that stage. Some of the questions really confused me and I felt that I wasn’t able to answer them adequately enough, others I felt like 5 minutes was too much time and I had said everything that I needed to say. I was not happy with my performance in this interview and ended up receiving a rejection just over a month later.

My fourth interview was on 8th February and was a group activity followed by an individual interview. I had really liked this university at the open days I had attended and the staff and students were lovely. We were put into small groups and had to build a structure with limited supplies (i.e. 2 sheets of paper, 3 straws etc.). After this we then had our individual interviews which were fairly informal, they began the interview by saying that as much as this was a time for me to impress them, it was also a time for them to impress me. I had never thought of this however it is true, if you come out of an interview feeling like I did after my first one then you will not want to go to that university in the long run.

I was rejected on 23rd February, this rejection really go to me as I personally felt very confident about my interview and thought it was one of the best I had been to. However, on 24th March I received a phone call from the university offering me a place which I then went on to accept as my insurance choice.

My fifth interview was on 3rd March at my favourite university. I had visited the Open Day with my mum after not thinking much of the university based on its location etc.. After an hour or so of looking around the campus and talking to students and staff I knew this was the place for me! I felt comfortable, everyone was lovely and when we went to the Midwifery talk they sold the course amazingly. I was very excited yet nervous for this interview, it meant a lot to me and there was a bit of pressure surrounding it due to it being my top university. At the interview we all sat maths and English tests and then were split into groups for the group task. The task involved a situation that you as a team had to decide what you would do etc. I thoroughly enjoyed the task and felt confident that I had contributed well and communicated properly.

On 9th March I received an offer which I was over the moon with! This meant I had five interviews which resulted in three offers, two of which I accepted for firm and insurance choices. Now the wait for Results Day…

(Continued in Part Five)

 

Personal Statement 101

I found writing my Personal Statement quite hard as I talked about in this post, I felt quite overwhelmed every time I thought about it being the thing that could make or break whether I got interviews! Looking back at my experience I would have changed a lot of things to make it easier on myself, so i have written these down in a handy list so that you can avoid the mistakes and mishaps that I went through!

1. Plan. Plan. Plan again!

I know some people find it super easy to dive into writing, however I am a planner. I plan everything, I make lists and mind maps, then I expand on them and then I begin piecing it all together. I would recommend planning before starting because it means you can then prioritise before you even start! I listed everything I had ever done that I have gained skills from to begin with. The list included something that happened in Year 10 of High School, it wasn’t irrelevant however other things took more priority. By the end of planning I knew exactly what I wanted to write about without rambling about anything irrelevant or less important.

2. Allow yourself to make mistakes!

I have 7 drafts saved to my laptop but had several handwritten before I began typing them up. I also printed several copies of each draft for checking at school, they would then be scrawled all over with mistakes and edits. If I liked the edits they would then be changed on my laptop, if not that copy was scrunched up and thrown away. Do not worry if your first draft sounds like the worst thing you have ever written, nobody ever has to read it unless you let them!

3. Read things with fresh eyes.

If you get to the point where you cannot tell if something is a mistake or not (I hit this point when I was tired or had been working on it too long!) then leave it alone for a few hours or even overnight and return to it later. When you come back to it your mind will be clearer and you will be able to sit down and read it through much easier. If you are still struggling with finding errors, ask somebody else to read it and give you constructive criticism. My mama was my go-to person for this!

4. Find somebody you trust to read through your Statement initially.

My Sixth Form told me to get as many people as I could to read it, I agree with this in the sense that you then receive many opinions. However I find too many opinions and corrections overwhelming and sometimes conflicting. At first, whilst you are still drafting concentrate on getting only a few people to read it, then as your drafts improve you can show new people if you wish.

5. Keep it personal!

This links to my previous point in some ways. If lots of people are handing you feedback and their opinions on what to change make sure you read their suggestions first. Be sure that you actually agree with what they are changing before you change it. One teacher wanted to alter my introduction but I liked it as it was. Remember you have the final say in the end, you decide what stays and what goes! Don’t let people take your personality out of it with their corrections either!

6. Submit early if you can!

Some universities do not look at applications before the deadline set by UCAS, however others most certainly do! Many will tell you whether they look at the applications before the deadline when you attend talks at their Open Days, if they don’t or you’re not completely sure? Ring or email them! They will be more than happy to help you find the answer to this and any other questions you may have. (Also, those that do look before the deadline also give out interviews and offers before the deadline!)

7. Always talk about what you have learnt!

One of the biggest things that universities look for is experience, some require it but others don’t. It doesn’t have to be Midwifery-related, most ask for it to be in a care setting. Whether you need it or not experience is brilliant to have and all universities will love reading about it! However, you must write about what you gained from the experience! Universities are looking for you to really highlight the things you learnt and skills you gained and developed while there.

8. Dare to be a little different!

I am a member of Secret Community for Midwives in the Making on Facebook, many Aspiring Midwives post on here about what to write about in their Personal Statement. A lot of advice talked about having a “specialist subject” to write about in you Statement, however this never really suited me and eventually I found it difficult to find the characters to write about it with. My advice is if people are all writing about a specific thing but you do not feel like it would fit in your Statement then don’t follow the crowd, make your own path. In the end it may be the thing that makes your Personal Statement stand out!

Let your personality shine through, let them see who you are!

 

My Journey So Far- Part Three: Applying

(Continued from Part Two)

Eager to start writing my Personal Statement I began planning everything that I could write about, from skills to work experience and school. I wrote everything out in big mind maps and started forming paragraphs that I could then use to build my first draft with.

Once I had planned what I wanted to write about I decided to attempt my first draft, the result? Short and sounded very scripted when I read it back, so I went back and tried to adjust it to make it more fluent.

I went onto write a second draft from scratch that would then be taken into school for reading. When I had written it I still wasn’t happy with it, it was short and didn’t make much sense but had a better structure than the previous draft. I was trying my hardest to write something that was perfect first time and not allowing myself room for error. I got my feedback and ended up restarting from scratch once again. After a few more drafts I was getting into writing and I was able to put more personality into it.

The beginning of my Personal Statement was a constant issue for me, it felt too typical and not very personal. It didn’t show my personality or skills etc. and it was irritating but no matter how much I tried to reword it I could not make it work for me.

One night I suddenly woke up and had a massive “Eureka” moment! I knew what I wanted to write as my introduction. I grabbed my laptop and typed it out then went back to sleep. The next morning my first thought was if I had actually typed it out or I had just dreamed about doing it, I checked and there it was- my perfect introduction that literally came to me in a dream! However it did leave me with one minor problem, I was now 2,000 characters over the limit!

Having that introduction written made me feel really accomplished and gave me motivation to continue writing the rest. I made some more changes and took it back into school. My old psychology teacher was the only person that had read it at school, she read it numerous times to the point where she could have probably recited it by heart. When I gave her this draft she was impressed, her feedback was very positive and she helped me to remove unnecessary parts to reduce the characters.

I also had a Midwife look over it a few times, she helped me to put language in that was appropriate and take out anything that may have sounded unprofessional or as if I didn’t understand what I was talking about. These were the two people I relied on most to help me with writing, checking and editing my Personal Statement, along with the help of my Mama who saved me from many grammar mistakes!

Eventually after a lot of editing from everyone I was around 200 characters over the limit and we were all beginning to struggle to find areas that could be changed. So I decided to take it to a teacher who didn’t know me very well and had never seen my Personal Statement. I knew she would provide me with constructive criticism and would not hold back on corrections etc. In fact when I went to see her for feedback she had managed to get it under the limit and told me that it had brought a tear to her eye whilst she read in, in a good way! So for me that was it, if I could have that effect on a teacher who barely knew me and had limited knowledge or interest in Midwifery then I was more than happy with what I had written!

After final touch-ups I was ready to submit. However it had to go through a few people first for checking, each person had their own opinions and “corrections”. I told them all that I was beyond happy with what I had written and I would not be changing anything.

I wanted to send my Personal Statement in the middle of October but it wasn’t actually sent until late October as my school pushed it back. Teachers tried to put me off submitting it so early as they were not convinced that it was perfect. They also told me that universities do not look at applications until UCAS deadline day- this is true for some but not all! Anyway, it eventually got sent and then it was a waiting game…

 

(Continues in Part Four)

My Journey So Far- Part Two: My Lifeline Option

(Continued from Part One)

After thinking it was all over I was offered another chance! They gave the option to resit Year 12. I would drop back a year and start over. There was only one issue, I couldn’t resit all of the subjects I sat the previous year. I had to choose one that I wanted to resit as that is all that would be funded by the government, therefore I chose Biology due to many universities requiring a science. Then I was offered a place on a BTEC course- something I had never been offered prior to starting Sixth Form. The BTEC course would mean I completed assignments and coursework instead of exams which suited me much better.

I thought about the offer and quickly decided that this was the best route for me to take. The only thing that worried me about returning to Year 12 was not knowing anybody, I knew faces and a few names but didn’t have any friends. I honestly thought I would be a complete outcast- how wrong I would turn out to be!

The first day back in September was used to give us our timetables and allow us to meet the other people in our form group. The second day was when we began lessons properly. As I walked into school on the second day I found Olivia, a new girl who was in my form, she was new to our school so was sort of in the same position as me. Long story short we ended up finding out we are basically the same person, we both love rugby and Disney- what more could we want! We’ve been best friends ever since!

As September rolled on I realised that I was calmer this year, I felt more ready. I think in my first year subconsciously I was dreading the exams all along whereas this year I only had exams in one subject. I was understanding more in biology and I was enjoying the different units in Health and Social, even my teachers were seeing the difference in me.

I had a small group of friends from my original year but I found I was also making friends with people in my classes. I had small classes (8 people in Biology and about 14 in Health and Social) so everybody talked to each other, I preferred this to my first year where the classes were huge!

I ended up getting close to Jack in biology- it all started because he’s smart and could explain how to do things without making me feel stupid and then just branched out from there! Anyway after a few months of talking we ended up together. (Told you I was wrong about the outcast thing!)

By the end of the year it was time for our AS exams. I was stressed because exams aren’t my thing, but not because I was unprepared like the year before. I came out with a D in biology and a Distinction* in health and social, I was happy with these grades as I did my best and even though I am not top of class in biology- I passed!

Summer came along and I had watched all of my friends go off to university, I was partly jealous, but partly not. I was jealous because I wished I hadn’t had to resit, however I wasn’t because I would have felt too young to go to university! My birthday is late May so I would have had to accept my offers before I was even 18.

When we got back to school in September the focus was very much on applying for university. Teachers were discussing predicted grades and references, we were being told about personal statements and how important this year was. I was so ready to begin applying!

(Continued in Part Three)

My Journey So Far- Part One: Year 12

As you will know if you have read my first post, I have wanted to be a Midwife since Year 9 in High School. I worked towards this goal throughout the rest of my time at school.

When I finished High School I left with good GCSE grades and decided to stay on at Sixth Form. Due to my GCSE grades I was offered the option of taking 4 subjects at AS Level and then the option to drop to 3 subjects when I reach A Level. Therefore I chose my 4 subjects: -Spanish because I had enjoyed it at GCSE , had a good grade in it and loved my teacher!

-Biology because many universities required a science and I was best at biology, also the university I originally thought was my favourite wanted an A in biology specifically.

-Psychology because it seemed relevant and interesting.

-PE because I loved it at GCSE, I got along with the teachers and knew they would encourage me and the anatomy section drew me in!

September came around and I began my studies in Sixth Form. All of the teachers had warned us that the step up from GCSE to A Level was big but it didn’t hit me immediately, in fact, it took a few weeks for it to sink in. A couple of weeks prior to the Christmas holidays we were told that we would be sitting mock exams when we returned in the New Year- great! I hated exams and realised that I actually wasn’t in a great position to begin revising as I didn’t really understand what I had been learning since September.

*Cue a very stressed Amy!*

From then on I had no idea where to begin. I had 4 subjects to revise for in a 3-4 week period (2 of the weeks were Christmas holidays too!) I began to worry at this point, time was flying by and holidays were creeping closer. I had assignments and homework due left, right and centre that I found myself completing to nowhere near the best of my ability simply because I didn’t have time and I didn’t understand what I was doing.

The holidays arrived and I was a complete mess, I had spent the last few weeks in school stressing over incomplete work, the things I didn’t understand and the mocks coming up and it had wiped me out! I was exhausted.

I wasn’t sleeping well due to the worry which lead to me lacking in focus during school because I was tired. I wasn’t eating properly because I lose appetite when I’m worried. So I had got myself into a vicious cycle which I couldn’t break! Eventually my mum pulled me up and spoke to me because she noticed I wasn’t doing much work at home etc. and also that I wasn’t myself. Once I explained everything I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders! I was still worried but I had somebody to talk to now.

The results of the mocks were as expected, it didn’t go very well and I was borderline failing every subject. Skip forward a few months and I’m receiving the results for my real exams. I narrowly passed 3 subjects and failed my 4th. I was devastated! I knew that they were not grades that I would be able to carry through to Year 13 with so I was stuck, I had no idea what my next step was.

I had my emotional moment with my mum in the car and then went back into school to ask about what I could actually do. I spoke to the Head of Sixth Form and the Head Teacher about my results and what I wanted to do in the future. They were able to offer me a lifeline.

(Continues in Part 2)