My Journey So Far- Part One: Year 12

As you will know if you have read my first post, I have wanted to be a Midwife since Year 9 in High School. I worked towards this goal throughout the rest of my time at school.

When I finished High School I left with good GCSE grades and decided to stay on at Sixth Form. Due to my GCSE grades I was offered the option of taking 4 subjects at AS Level and then the option to drop to 3 subjects when I reach A Level. Therefore I chose my 4 subjects: -Spanish because I had enjoyed it at GCSE , had a good grade in it and loved my teacher!

-Biology because many universities required a science and I was best at biology, also the university I originally thought was my favourite wanted an A in biology specifically.

-Psychology because it seemed relevant and interesting.

-PE because I loved it at GCSE, I got along with the teachers and knew they would encourage me and the anatomy section drew me in!

September came around and I began my studies in Sixth Form. All of the teachers had warned us that the step up from GCSE to A Level was big but it didn’t hit me immediately, in fact, it took a few weeks for it to sink in. A couple of weeks prior to the Christmas holidays we were told that we would be sitting mock exams when we returned in the New Year- great! I hated exams and realised that I actually wasn’t in a great position to begin revising as I didn’t really understand what I had been learning since September.

*Cue a very stressed Amy!*

From then on I had no idea where to begin. I had 4 subjects to revise for in a 3-4 week period (2 of the weeks were Christmas holidays too!) I began to worry at this point, time was flying by and holidays were creeping closer. I had assignments and homework due left, right and centre that I found myself completing to nowhere near the best of my ability simply because I didn’t have time and I didn’t understand what I was doing.

The holidays arrived and I was a complete mess, I had spent the last few weeks in school stressing over incomplete work, the things I didn’t understand and the mocks coming up and it had wiped me out! I was exhausted.

I wasn’t sleeping well due to the worry which lead to me lacking in focus during school because I was tired. I wasn’t eating properly because I lose appetite when I’m worried. So I had got myself into a vicious cycle which I couldn’t break! Eventually my mum pulled me up and spoke to me because she noticed I wasn’t doing much work at home etc. and also that I wasn’t myself. Once I explained everything I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders! I was still worried but I had somebody to talk to now.

The results of the mocks were as expected, it didn’t go very well and I was borderline failing every subject. Skip forward a few months and I’m receiving the results for my real exams. I narrowly passed 3 subjects and failed my 4th. I was devastated! I knew that they were not grades that I would be able to carry through to Year 13 with so I was stuck, I had no idea what my next step was.

I had my emotional moment with my mum in the car and then went back into school to ask about what I could actually do. I spoke to the Head of Sixth Form and the Head Teacher about my results and what I wanted to do in the future. They were able to offer me a lifeline.

(Continues in Part 2)